


forever can't wait

by orphan_account



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Episode: s05e13 The Hike, Fluff, Introspection, M/M, No Dialogue, POV First Person, Patrick loves David very much, didn't know how to rate, otherwise it's extremely tame, so much love!!!, there are two instances of patrick saying fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:49:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25248706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A first person contemplation of one Patrick Brewer after he steps on a branch and it goes right through his shoe.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 9
Kudos: 54





	forever can't wait

**Author's Note:**

> It's a bit of a weird format, maybe? It's not something I would read myself probably, but it just happened and felt good to write:)
> 
> I want to preface this by saying that you should definitely always talk about getting married with your partner before proposing in real life! Something that important should never come completely out of the blue or it could potentially put the partner who's being proposed to in an awkward situation. 
> 
> That being said, I hope you like it, enjoy:)

Okay, no.

Stop. 

Abort.

This is not happening today! God, I wanted this so badly, but no way I can go through with it now. This fucking thing hurts, David is annoyed, I‘m annoyed, I can‘t do it, I won‘t do it. I was already so nervous, hardly slept, trying not to wake him up while my heart kept attempting to jump out of my chest thinking of today. Excitement mainly but doubts as well.

Not about David. Never about David. I‘m so sure about him. So sure.

But doubt, that maybe it‘s too soon, that he‘ll get scared or maybe he just isn‘t ready yet. We‘ve never called it by its name. He knows that I‘ve always wanted to get married, even after everything with Rachel. We talked about it after shit went down back then, he asked me why I had proposed. I told him the truth, I told him that it was a last desperate attempt to fix things, because I believed in marriage and I wanted it to work so badly, but that in the end it had felt so wrong, I couldn‘t go through with it. He knew that marriage was something I‘ve always wanted. What he didn‘t know, mainly because I haven‘t ever said it out loud, was that I wanted to marry _him_ specifically.

At the beginning, I was sure he wouldn‘t want to get married at all. There had been some pretty obvious clues, but I never pressed. I mean, it wasn‘t that I had already been thinking about marrying him at the time. Well, except that I kind of did.

The thing was, I didn‘t want to get my hopes up. It wasn‘t a secret that he‘d been through some bad stuff, bad people. He never made a secret out of it. But he never really talked about it seriously, either.

He wasn‘t shy, however, to share his opinion on relationships, and marriage in particular. He would talk a lot about how he didn‘t believe in marriage as a concept. He would start rambling about it, whenever he picked up on any tension between married customers or when the topic came up in another context. How could anyone know they would want to be with someone forever, for the rest of their lives. He talked about how people change and how relationships change and how at the end of the day, people are always destined to drift apart. And about how it‘s easier on everyone to break up before things get ugly.

He‘d laid some of this on me even before we started dating. It made me wonder about his past relationships. I mean, it made me wonder about his past relationships even more. There had been thoughts about him and his relationships a lot. Like, if he‘d be interested in being in one with me, for instance.

But I also wondered what must‘ve happened, for him to view marriage and relationships like that. He seemed almost resigned. It felt like we were on two different ends of the spectrum there in that regard. I‘d never known anything but working hard for a relationship to work. And it sounded like he wasn‘t even willing to try. There must have been something else, though, but I didn‘t ask. Looking back, it was probably a good thing I didn‘t ask back then.

Things changed, though. For us, for him. He changed so much in that regard. He warmed up so much, opened up so much and I feel so incredibly lucky he let me in. I have never told him, but I‘m so proud of him. I know it wasn‘t easy for him, to open up, to trust. Trust me. After everything he‘d been through, having had his trust broken over and over, betrayed by the people he had tried to give his heart to. I can‘t even imagine but I‘m all the more proud. Proud of him, and honored to have earned his trust.

Things changed. His view on relationship changed, and I‘m pretty confident to say that he believes in them now. That he believes they _can_ work out. Believes ours can. He‘s told me as much. In the dark of our bedroom, with whispered _I love you_ s and _forever_ s and without any words at all.

So, we never talked about marriage per se, but we both know and feel that we‘re in it for the long haul and I‘m also pretty sure, that that guy, deep down, is a hopeless romantic who had always secretly believed in great love and happy endings (and if Rose family gossip is to be believed) in marriage, too.

I know he loves me and I know he‘s committed to our relationship, but maybe it‘s still too early. Sometimes I‘m not really sure, how much doubt and insecurity he still carries around with him. The time feels right for me now, though, and I can‘t wait to have real and tangible proof of my love and commitment to him.

The excitement did outweigh the doubt and nervousness in the end, but that didn‘t mean I got a lot of sleep, either. And now, here we are. A sleepless night paired with nervousness, frustration, a whiny David and, as of five seconds ago, a fucking tree branch stuck in my foot.

That is not a good basis for a proposal, I don‘t think. 

Gonna have to do it another time.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, I would love some feedback on this :)


End file.
